Wast week, the Vice
Pwesidental debate took place, where Womney’s running mate, widdle Paul Wyan,
took on the Vice Pwesident, Big Mean Joe Biden.
All Wyan wanted to do was tell Amewica about his conservative plan to
cut taxes across the boawd and help all the poor, poor, rich people paying too
much taxes, like in widdle Wyan’s favowite stowybook, Atlas Shwugged. But the Big Bad Biden wouldn’t wet him. All he did was laugh at Wyan, huwting his
feelings, and making him feel bad. He
even called him huwtfull names, like ‘malarkey’ and ‘Jack Kennedy’. Wyan went home and cwied and cwied and
cwied. And cwied.
“Ha ha ha!” said Big Bad Bully Biden. “I’m going to take all of Little Ryan’s lunch
money! And then I’ll redistribute that
lunch money to the lower class!”
But then all the nice people on the news said Wyan
actually won the debate. Hooway! One cowwespondend fwom OX news said, “if
Biden won’t play like a big boy, then he doesn’t get to win. He has to learn to be nice to everyone. Because even though as Vice President has the
2nd most important job in the country, is expected to deal with the
nastiest people on both ends of the political spectrum, and, as head of the
Senate, must watch brutal political bickering on a daily basis, he has to be
nice to the guy trying to take his job.
It’s not like Ryan isn’t running for a job that is as demanding as Biden’s. Biden has to remember not to roughhouse with
the little kids.” However, the liberal
elitist media shot back: “Ryan is considered the intellectual basis of his
party. The reason why he is on board is
to provide the scholarly element that many say is now gone from his party. Why can’t Biden test his aptitude as
aggressively as he likes? And if Ryan is
going to replace Joe Biden as Vice President, why can’t we expect Ryan to beat
Biden at his own game?”
Wyan was unable to wespond to these qwestions, because he
was too busy taking a nap after having too much pizza and ice cweam at the
Wepublican Pawty.
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