Possible Election Game-Changers

            This campaign so far has been very uneventful.  Aside from Romney’s 47% gaffe and the Terrorist Attack in Benghazi, very little has happened outside the ordinary.  So we news organizations have desperately developed this list of game changers that could happen last minute in both campaigns that would break their respective candidates chances at the presidency.  Because we don’t have anything better to report on other than overly-obvious crap. 

            Things that could destroy the Obama campaign:

·         Libya becomes a thriving democracy and funds their new nation by driving up the price of oil.

·         Latest polls who Obama carrying 47 percent of the vote, validating Romney.

·         Oh who are we kidding, those polls don’t mean shit.

·         A very big dinosaur.

            Things that could destroy the Romney campaign:

·         Like so many Republicans before him, Romney suddenly develops the inexplicable urge to talk about rape non-stop.

·         America’s economy completely returns.  Free enterprise and opportunity reign supreme.  And everyone lives happily ever after.  That’d really fuck over Romney.

·         An even more conservative Romney robot comes from the future to destroy the currently moderate Romney.  Like in the Terminator.  That movie was cool.

·         Everyone decides that Jay-Z is right.

            Things that could destroy the Ron Paul campaign… some more…:

·         College campuses across the nation spontaneously combust.