By A Realistic Southerner
Welp, I don’ know about you, but one uh these days, when
y’all Yankees least expect, the old Confederacy will gather it’s arms and rise
up. And then fall due to a lack of
organizational coherence, bad logistic infrastructure and lack of raw materials. ‘See, us people in the South know that we ain’t
the United States of America; we’re a conquered land: occupied since 1865. And after over a hundred years of oppression,
the Southern People will rise up, form a new nation in Richmond and renew the
Old Confederacy. Then that too will
collapse due to a border-line redistributionist state that causes milk and
bread riots. Don’t tell none of m’
neighbors, but when yeh think ‘bout it, the South was kinda socialist near the
end of it. Compulsory draft,
considerations to emancipating the slaves, redistribution of basic resources. Purty socialist if yeh ask me.
And hell, yeh just gotta think how close we came tuh
winnin’the first time around. If we just
won at Gettysburg or Antietam, the English and French would ‘uh sent us troops
and arms teh help us beat them Yankees. Of course, they didn’t have ironclads, and the
Union did, so it’s unlikely that they would’ve been able to win the pitched
naval battle that the European forces would need to win before getting those
troops and arms to the South. But still,
we almost won it. We just didn’t.
So you can count on it.
Them Yankees may not know it, but we’re-a-gonna rise up. The Mason-Dixon line will once again become
the borderline between the backwards north and the righteous south. The border won’t last long, probably due to
the overwhelmingly advanced and well-executed offensive the Union will
inevitable use to crush our frontline, if we even manage to form one. Sure as death and taxes, the South will rise
again. And then fall due to an overtaxed,
death-ridden populace weary from funding a doomed war machine.
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