“Obama Blasts Romney about Something Again” By Captain Obvious

            Last weekend at a political rally involving Democrats cheering Obama on about something liberal, the President blasted Romney on his record about something political.  “Mitt Romney has bad policies” said the President.  This is obviously a new stance the President is revealing, and it is in no way mundane.  In fact, this is probably a turning point for one or the other campaigns.  Everyone should give a shit about this new, stunning information.  The idea that one political candidate would criticize another, opposing political candidate is new to our political system and underscores the new, completely unprecedented phenomenon of political parties not working together, and instead having different agendas.

            One political analyst from a university said that “Some people like it when you act tough, and some people don’t.  Just like a lot of people like the President, and a lot of other people like Mitt Romney.  However, there are also a lot of people who DISlike the President, or who DISlike Mitt Romney.”

            However, Mitt Romney fired back, saying at a political rally full of Republicans at what some might possibly consider a swing state; “Barack Obama is a bad president.”  Some have said that this is going too far, but the Romney campaign think that this is just what Romney needs.  “If people don’t think Obama is a good president, then they won’t vote for him.  And if they don’t vote for the president, then increases the likelihood of them voting for Romney” said someone from the Romney campaign.

            However, there is also a large block of voters, called ‘undecided voters’, who have not decided who to vote for.  One undecided voter from a swing state, probably Ohio, said “Obama says Romney is bad, and that makes me want to vote for Obama.  However, Romney says Obama is bad, and that makes me want to vote for Romney.  This makes me really confused.  Also, don’t put this in the article, but I might just vote for Ron Paul because I don’t like either of them.”

            In an unrelated story, many other political analysts wonder how this article, being so pathetically generic and stupidly easy to understand, is not on Yahoo or Comcast News.