After the release of many
new fragrances and sexually charged advertisements, Iran has decided to make
use of the deodorant product ‘AXE’ punishable by death in Iran. “Clearly, this is just the latest of many
attempts by the Great Satan (the United States of America) to corrupt the minds
of our citizenry and seduce our men into violence. Death to America!” said Iranian head of state
Ayatollah. He also went on to talk about
the dangers of not only exposing a woman’s face, but making her smell
good. “Naturally we will have to make
this punishable by death to everyone, but it’s clearly the most dangerous to
let women use this product of satanic sorcery.
Men will be given lethal injection.
Women will be burned at the stake.”
In most Islamic extremist countries, like Iran, they believe that
exposing any iota of physical beauty will give Satan the incentive he needs to tempt
the minds of men into adultery or abuse.
So to protect women, Ayatollah has to burn women at the stake for using
AXE.
While many feminists in the U.S. are outraged by the new
law and unbalanced punishments, Middle Eastern feminists accuse western feminists
that our own culture is just as bad.
“Using fragrance products and makeup is one way western standards of
beauty make women in the west just as insecure and uncomfortable as the Middle
Eastern alternatives of making them wear bulky, stark black curtains in 120
degree weather that cover their entire body” said one of the feminists
supporting Ayatollah. “AXE is just a
postmodern veil. Only you won’t pass out
from heat stroke from it. And you have
the option to wear it or not. But still,
AXE. Great Satan. Bad.”
When our reporter asked how American society’s flaws justify Iran’s
viewpoints on women, the reporter was gagged, dragged to the town square and
AXEd to death.
No comments:
Post a Comment