Letter from the Editor: June 2012

            I’d like to start off by insisting that I’ve really been doing this ‘Letter from the Editor’ crap all along.

            Today I decided to check the statistics of the Monthly.  For those of you who know the mechanics of Blogger, you may know what I’m talking about.  There are a few mechanics that allow me to look at who my audience is, and so far, I’ve gotten eight Russians, two Australians, two Germans and one Vietnamese person viewing the Monthly Periodical.  To all of my foreign viewers, спасибо/thank you, mate/danke/cam ơn bạn.  For those of you who don’t know the mechanics of Blogger, I know.  I know you haven’t been reading my articles.  I know you’ve all been slacking off.  But what I do know and what you don’t know is that I’m coming for you.  Don’t bother packing, or running away.  It’s too late for that now.  You will pay.

            Back to the issue at hand, though: foreign audiences.  While five countries counting the U.S. (six counting the possibility of a Texan viewer) is a great start, I’ve noticed a few places are holding out on me.  You know who I’m talking about: the Middle East.  So to reach out to the Arab market, I’d like to say that I have no problem with Islam or the Prophet Muhammad, the Palestinian State or AK-47s.  In fact, I think Islam is a great religion, Muhammad was a wise man, the Palestinian State should be recognized by the U.N. and the AK-47 is the ideal zombie apocalypse weapon.

            However, I can’t just reach out to the Middle East. I want some more obscure countries, too. So if anyone has any ideas on cracking the Kazakh market, please let me know. I would say something encouraging to my prospective Kazakh viewers, but Google Translate does not have translations to Kazakh. Приношу свои извинения.