OX News: Children’s Television and the Brainwashing of America
We can all remember back to the good old days of our early childhood where the epicenter of our imaginations and horseplay was our television shows. Many parents turn to them to keep them entertained, watching shows that will keep them innocent and insulated from a world of political maneuvering. At least that’s what the liberals w...ant you to believe. After watching several of these ‘children’s shows’ OX News has come to realize that the lefties are trying to indoctrinated liberal and socialist ideals into our naïve and innocent children. Show by show, we will reveal these children’s shows to be the liberal-socialist brainwashing propaganda that is poisoning our weak, innocent childrens’ minds, in and fair and balanced way, of course.
Let’s start with the more recent ones, like Spongebob. We have a young, presumably uneducated sponge who works at the local fast food joint for Mr. Krabs. Despite the fact that most businessmen such as Mr. Krabs are often kind, generous people, Nickelodeon portrays him as a greedy old miser who cares only about money, even more than his own workers. Some say that it’s just a funny concept, but we see through the lies. This is an obvious attack to paint hard-working small business owners such as Mr. Krabs as part of the elitist 1% who do not earn what they have. Ignore the fact that this show started in 1999, and you see a show with clear roots in the Occupy Movements, subliminally teaching our children to hate their bosses and be Occupy hippies like Spongebob, who lives in a makeshift “pineapple shelter”.
Then, there’s Pokemon. The constant cadence of environmentalism and animal rights issues are overwhelming enough, but after putting the show/video game through the ‘no spin zone’, we noticed a chilling endorsement of evolution as a legitimate field of science. However, we did notice that they, unlike the liars in those science labs, did get the concept of evolution right. In our world, many genius conservatives point out that if humans evolve from monkeys, then monkeys would still be evolving into monkeys. In Pokemon, Raichus are around, but we still see the process through which a Pikachu becomes a Raichu. In other words, we see the monkey (perhaps an Aipom?) evolving into a human. We find it amusing that the elitist snobby scientists can’t get this point on evolution right, yet Pokemon seems to understand it well.
Another liberal poison Pokemon (Obamizard! Use Poison Sting!) tries to inject into the minds of our children are the supposed evils of capitalism. The crime organization ‘Team Rocket’ seems intent on exploiting pokemon for profit. However, this doesn’t seem to be a problem in the real world. If you work hard and turn a successful profit, anyone can succeed in America, even if it means brutalizing and occasionally arbitrarily slaughtering a pokemon here or there. Yet, Nintendo seems to paint this as a bad thing. Why? Are animals all of a sudden more important than a successful free market economy? No! Yet Nintendo seems determined to undermine our children’s natural dispositions towards capitalism and hard work.
Somewhat further back, we have the Teletubbies. Let’s just not go there.
And finally, Barney. One could easily see the commonly sung ‘I Love You, You Love Me’ as an innocent song meant to calm people, OX news sees right though the devious lies. Upon further inspection, this is obviously a nod towards the free love movements of the 1960s which the Democrats hold so dear to their hearts. Barney also promotes a sense of ‘sharing’ that is only a small step away from communal economics, which leads to communist oppression, which leads to Stalinism, which leads to the fall of America. Why else would one teach a child to share other than to turn them into socialist pigs? The only redeeming quality of the show is that it showed a dinosaur living at the same time as humans. But apart from that, Barney was just another liberal propagandist, defacing our sacred family values with his ‘I love yous’ and promoting a soviet uprising by encouraging ‘sharing’.
We here at OX News can only find one solution to this problem. If these children are going to be forcefully subjected to liberal lies, then the least we can do is show them both sides of the story with some good old conservative literature. We should air shows like Rambo, The Terminator and Blackhawk Down alongside all of these liberal cartoons every Saturday morning for our children to watch. Stories like these should help teach our children patriotism, hard work and how to share hot lead with commies and terrorists. And if the liberal ninnies try to complain about those shows being too violent for our children, then just tell them that the shows they already watch are too violently socialist for them to watch.
We can all remember back to the good old days of our early childhood where the epicenter of our imaginations and horseplay was our television shows. Many parents turn to them to keep them entertained, watching shows that will keep them innocent and insulated from a world of political maneuvering. At least that’s what the liberals w...ant you to believe. After watching several of these ‘children’s shows’ OX News has come to realize that the lefties are trying to indoctrinated liberal and socialist ideals into our naïve and innocent children. Show by show, we will reveal these children’s shows to be the liberal-socialist brainwashing propaganda that is poisoning our weak, innocent childrens’ minds, in and fair and balanced way, of course.
Let’s start with the more recent ones, like Spongebob. We have a young, presumably uneducated sponge who works at the local fast food joint for Mr. Krabs. Despite the fact that most businessmen such as Mr. Krabs are often kind, generous people, Nickelodeon portrays him as a greedy old miser who cares only about money, even more than his own workers. Some say that it’s just a funny concept, but we see through the lies. This is an obvious attack to paint hard-working small business owners such as Mr. Krabs as part of the elitist 1% who do not earn what they have. Ignore the fact that this show started in 1999, and you see a show with clear roots in the Occupy Movements, subliminally teaching our children to hate their bosses and be Occupy hippies like Spongebob, who lives in a makeshift “pineapple shelter”.
Then, there’s Pokemon. The constant cadence of environmentalism and animal rights issues are overwhelming enough, but after putting the show/video game through the ‘no spin zone’, we noticed a chilling endorsement of evolution as a legitimate field of science. However, we did notice that they, unlike the liars in those science labs, did get the concept of evolution right. In our world, many genius conservatives point out that if humans evolve from monkeys, then monkeys would still be evolving into monkeys. In Pokemon, Raichus are around, but we still see the process through which a Pikachu becomes a Raichu. In other words, we see the monkey (perhaps an Aipom?) evolving into a human. We find it amusing that the elitist snobby scientists can’t get this point on evolution right, yet Pokemon seems to understand it well.
Another liberal poison Pokemon (Obamizard! Use Poison Sting!) tries to inject into the minds of our children are the supposed evils of capitalism. The crime organization ‘Team Rocket’ seems intent on exploiting pokemon for profit. However, this doesn’t seem to be a problem in the real world. If you work hard and turn a successful profit, anyone can succeed in America, even if it means brutalizing and occasionally arbitrarily slaughtering a pokemon here or there. Yet, Nintendo seems to paint this as a bad thing. Why? Are animals all of a sudden more important than a successful free market economy? No! Yet Nintendo seems determined to undermine our children’s natural dispositions towards capitalism and hard work.
Somewhat further back, we have the Teletubbies. Let’s just not go there.
And finally, Barney. One could easily see the commonly sung ‘I Love You, You Love Me’ as an innocent song meant to calm people, OX news sees right though the devious lies. Upon further inspection, this is obviously a nod towards the free love movements of the 1960s which the Democrats hold so dear to their hearts. Barney also promotes a sense of ‘sharing’ that is only a small step away from communal economics, which leads to communist oppression, which leads to Stalinism, which leads to the fall of America. Why else would one teach a child to share other than to turn them into socialist pigs? The only redeeming quality of the show is that it showed a dinosaur living at the same time as humans. But apart from that, Barney was just another liberal propagandist, defacing our sacred family values with his ‘I love yous’ and promoting a soviet uprising by encouraging ‘sharing’.
We here at OX News can only find one solution to this problem. If these children are going to be forcefully subjected to liberal lies, then the least we can do is show them both sides of the story with some good old conservative literature. We should air shows like Rambo, The Terminator and Blackhawk Down alongside all of these liberal cartoons every Saturday morning for our children to watch. Stories like these should help teach our children patriotism, hard work and how to share hot lead with commies and terrorists. And if the liberal ninnies try to complain about those shows being too violent for our children, then just tell them that the shows they already watch are too violently socialist for them to watch.
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