After recently exiting the hospital
a few days ago, many wondered what the source of the scare was. Some thought it was stress; others thought it
was just old age. However, the doctors
now believe they have isolated the cause of the blood clot. One of the doctor said: “We believe that by
scaring the living shit out of just about everything in every third world
country, she was channeling overly high levels of Badassery and pure
power. The plasmaic byproducts of such Badassery
stuck to the walls of her major arteries, thus causing the clot. She then recovered from the major artery
clots because she’s Hilary fucking Clinton, removed her sunglasses, and scared
the blood clot away with her death stare.” One of her nurses also had the
following to say: “Another important reason why Hilary Clinton made it through
the blood clot so quickly is because badasses don’t get killed by a blood
clot. If Hilary Clinton dies, it’s going
to be from ripping a jumbo jet’s turbine off, causing both her and the plane to
explode, but saving thousands of innocents on the ground that would’ve been
destroyed by the hijacking. Or maybe she’d
just throw it into space. But a blood clot? Come on…”
Many think her health also raises
questions about her candidacy. James
Carville said the following: “We already know she’s had this blood clot, but
she got through that pretty well. So now
we’re trying to figure out what other things she could survive over the course
of an election season, maybe even a presidency.
Assassination is not really a problem, because anyone stupid enough to
take on Hil’ would never make it past the Secret Service, let alone take her
down.” Many analysts also speculate that
Clinton’s blood clot may also indicate how easy it would be for her to
Ahmadinejad her little bitch. Because
sanctions would be the worst of their sorry problems if she became head of
state.
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