Many young men and women find
breakups difficult to cope with. The following
days are often filled with tears, lack of personal hygiene and yelling at
romantic comedies like the actors could hear you. And what goes better with all of that than a
one pint tub of ice cream from Ben & Jerry’s? “We here at Ben & Jerry’s love to make
people happy with our delicious and varied types of ice cream. And what better group to make happy than a
demographic that is already abysmally distraught?” said Ben.
“We’ve already been helping the newly anointed lonely for a long
time. Jerry and I had long thought about
releasing a flavor to give tribute to our best customers, but were worried they’d
see an unintended double meaning. But
then we realized that post-breakup college kids don’t see meaning in anything. So that’s why we’re unleashing a new flavor: ‘Descent
into Dark(Chocolate)ness’!”
Descent into Dark(Chocolate)ness is
made of “Dark Chocolate ice cream, nihilist nougats, abandoning almonds and
let-yourself-go licorice”. “This ice
cream is great!” said one lonely soul. “Almost
as great as… Jennifer… oh how did I manage to mess this all up? Why me? Why?...” On the back it also lists all sorts of great activities
to engage in while eating this flavor, and any other delicious flavor of Ben
& Jerry’s:
·
Staring through your tears and into the uncaring
sky.
·
Listening to the playlists “She” used to make
for you.
·
Watching the Notebook, hating them every moment
of their happiness.
·
Curling up in a ball.
·
Lashing out at friends and family while they
support you.
·
Cry yourself to sleep.
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