Republican Party Incites Revolt by Keeping Things Exactly the Way They Are

            Last Night on OX News, all of the anchors unanimously and officially supported Republican obstructionism and filibustering in Congress.  “We’ve had enough of President Obama” said Bill O’Reilly.  “We need real change.  We need to make things better.  And we can’t do that while some radical socialist is constantly trying to change things or make things better.”  As one of the more respected voices of the Republican Party, he went on to describe the ‘change’ and ‘improvements’ that Republican congressional leaders had in store for America.

            These plans include not allowing gay marriage, not granting equal pay to women, not fixing the economy, not allowing people to say anything in the Senate and not allowing any legislation whatsoever to pass the House of Representatives.  “We really think that the Republican Party can truly improve legislation in America.  And since 81% of Americans disapprove of Congress, we can safely say that ‘improvement’ in the people’s eyes is really just doing nothing at all.  There.  That’s a valid reason for what we’re doing” said Speaker of the House John Boehner (R). 

            “We are living in tyranny” said Rush Limbaugh, one of the more respected voices, er, within the Republican Party.  “All of the plans the feminazis and socialists have in store for the nation is just too much change for us to handle right now.  That’s why we have to rally around the GOP during the next election.  We need to bring real change to this nation.  And the best way of doing that is by shrinking the size of government.  We’ve done more to advance small government than anyone, seeing we’ve done everything we in our power to stop the Democratic government officials from doing anything at all.”

            Mitt Romney, the probable presidential nominee for the Republican Party said the following:  “Obama’s had his chance to change this country, and nothing’s been accomplished in the past four years.  On the other side of the aisle, the Republican Party hasn’t passed any failed legislation in the past four years.  Who are you going to vote for, America?  Someone who hasn’t gotten anything done, or the party that hasn’t made any legislative mistakes in the past four years?”