Saturday, April 20, 2013

Video Game Industry Expresses Hopes for North Korean War


            After years and years of first person shooters based on World War Two, Afghanistan and the Vietnam War… once… Treyarch is proud to announce that if war breaks out between North Korea and the United States, they will make another Call of Duty about it afterwards.  “After making four different World War Two games, three Modern Warfare games and ignoring the shit out of the Cold War for years and years, we thought that a Vietnam game, the first ‘Black Ops’, would do the trick.  But since it didn’t have enough high-tech gadgets and every last weapon and killstreak wasn’t overpowered to the nth degree, nobody liked it” said one Treyarch representative “But then they released MW3.  While fans liked it a lot more, especially since it wasn’t Treyarch, a bunch of people still thought it was more of the same.  People don’t want the same game over and over again.  They want new weapons, new missions, new enemies, new wars.  And that is why we here at Treyarch are hoping and praying that North Korea is dumb enough to invade the south so we can watch our real-life army kick their asses and then make a game about it, but for some reason make a fictional storyline anyways.”

            It’s not just Treyarch that is anticipating the release of the Second Korean War; app makers are already churning out hundreds of bad tower defense games based on the coming war, along with several other smaller companies making first person shooters about the game in a “what if?” scenario if a North Korean nuclear bomb actually hit something important and programmers are releasing “Kim Jong-Un Edition” versions of Nazi Zombies.  In this mod of the original Nazi Zombies, players will be able to run-and-gun zombies of North Korean Military.  Because zombies have to be incorporated into everything.

            Everything.

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