Last week leaders of
prominent minority groups met over the subject of months dedicated to the
history of their people. “Black History
Month” is one of the most well known.
Since their creation, they have been a source of controversy. Those in favor saw it as a way of honoring
the history of a people who have long been disadvantaged. Critics say that it draws too much attention
to one heritage, alienating the others for that month. However, minorities and critics have finally
reached a compromise: creating a “White Male History Month” that outlines all
of the bullshit they’ve committed over history, and how they were eventually
shutdown by downtrodden minorities. This
will allow us to celebrate people of all backgrounds, all overcoming obstacles,
such as white males, to make a better future for their people.
“It’s basically all of our separate minority months all
jammed be into one” said a prominent member of the NAACP. “Only rather than talking about the oppressed
while subliminally focusing on the perpetrator, we’ll just focus on the
perpetrator. It just seems more honest
that way, and now everyone can share a month where we focus on one thing:
overcoming white males… I mean obstacles.
Or am I being redundant?”
Representatives of other minorities also saw it as a way to unite,
rather than to divide people. If
everyone is celebrating their heritage on the same month, and everyone is
celebrating the defeat of the same tyrannically imposed social structure, then
everyone can feel more united.
When asked how the white males who are currently alive
would participate in the festivities, one former critic of Black History Month said
“… But if we were to celebrate white male heritage, wouldn’t that be a bit of a
step backward? I mean, we don’t want to
return to the days of Social Darwinism, where race was considered a form of
credential.”
